The first sign of my long term depression: how school life follows outside of those walls.

School should be a place where you feel safe, supported, and free to be yourself. For me, it was the opposite. The emotional and physical bullying I faced at school didn’t just stay within the classroom walls. It followed me home, invaded my thoughts, and eventually pushed me to a breaking point. Looking back, I realise that moment was the first clear sign of a long-term struggle with depression that I didn’t fully understand at the time.

When school feels like emotional torture

Every day at school was a battle. The bullying wasn’t just occasional; it was constant. I was targeted emotionally and physically, and it wore me down bit by bit. No matter how much I tried to ignore it or stay strong, the pain seeped into every part of my life. I felt trapped in a place where I couldn’t be myself, where I was judged and hurt for simply existing.

The worst part was that this didn’t stop when I left school grounds. The fear and anxiety followed me home. Even in my own bedroom, I couldn’t escape the weight of what I faced during the day. It was exhausting and lonely.

The moment everything changed

When I was 16, in 2006, my mental health took a sharp dive. I reached a point where the pain felt unbearable. One night, I sat alone in my bedroom with a bottle of wine I had taken from the kitchen and a packet of pills from the medicine drawer. The alcohol dulled the pain enough to stop the tears, but the thought of going back to school the next day crushed me.

I took all the pills. That night is a blur. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed, with my mum and older brother by my side. My brother had recently moved back home due to personal reasons, and his presence felt like a small comfort in that moment.

My mum’s response and the fight for change

After that night, my mum finally understood how serious things had become. She wasn’t fully aware of everything that was happening at school, but she knew enough to be deeply concerned. She insisted the school take responsibility and made it clear that I would not return until they could guarantee the bullying would stop.

The absence of my dad’s involvement

At this point, my dad was nowhere to be seen in this story. It felt like he didn’t care or didn’t want to get involved. That absence added another layer of hurt and isolation. When you’re already struggling, feeling abandoned by a parent makes the pain even harder to bear.

Why school bullying affects mental health long after the final bell

Bullying at school isn’t just about what happens during class or recess. It can create lasting scars that affect mental health for years. When you’re constantly targeted, it’s hard to build confidence or feel safe anywhere. The fear and anxiety don’t disappear when you leave school; they follow you home, into your relationships, and into your future.

For many young people, especially those in the LGBT community, school can be a place of exclusion and misunderstanding. Without support, the emotional toll can lead to depression, anxiety, and even thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Moving forward with hope

My story doesn’t end with that night in the hospital. It was the beginning of a long journey toward healing and understanding my mental health. It taught me the importance of speaking up, finding support, and creating safe spaces for myself and others.

If you’re struggling, reach out. There are people who want to help, and things can get better. Your feelings matter, and your life matters.